^{Note: The TAS Class of 2002 Page has been hacked by the Phylin' Kowz of Moskow and has been replaced by the exclusive "report" on why band is bad and string is GOOD}.
If you have got to this homepage by searching the keyword in Yahoo!: "Taipei American School" we apologize, this page has little to do with the taipei american school

Disclaimer: This page is totally for entertainment purposes only! and is supposed to be humorous. and has no means of insulting any TAS Faculty/Students Political People, Celebrities etc... ..Remember, this is just a humorous homepage to entertain you.
 
 

Note: ALL facts, information are TRUE.
WWII ideas and english vocabulary ideas are original. Not one of these ideas are copied. For the Phylin' Kowz of Mo5CoW Neva copeez!

For centuries people have divided themselves into groups, and have criticized other groups such as:

White and black men
Boys and Girls
East and West Coast
Asian and American
Mac or PC
etc....

But these are just petty little divisions...
The major groups that differentiate GOOD and EVIL, COOL and UGLY, STUPID and SMART, is if you are
a band player or a STRING player. That's right a band player or string player. This home page will TELL you that band stinks and strings rule.

If you are a string player WELCOME!

Definition of Band: People think of band as a group of musical people who play the trumpet and sax etc.... But we refer band to as anything bad.....Example: If someone misses a shot in Basketball, you don't blame him....You blame band.....or band's fault...... So if a little kid falls down.... you can say "band!"
If you are a band.....go switch to strings or di*.......

Da Stringish(awesome, cool, da best)  Topics:
World War II  U.S School Events IQ English Words Conclusion Guestbook End of Page

Note: All these facts about War World II are true.

HISTORY: World War II
In this century, the most significant event that happened is World War II. If it wasn't for Strings, The Germans would be in control of the world, they would knock out every other nation that stands in their way...
Why?
Pearl Harbor
Simple, why did Pearl Harbor get bombed and was significantly damaged? For warning, the U.S navy used bugles and trumpets to sound the alarm....very smart..... this caused most of the damage in the Pear Harbor bombing. What did U.S did wrong? They used a band instrument to sound the alarm....how foolish...if they used a string instrument or a recording of maybe "Concerto for Two Violins" or "Canon" or "Serenade", the Japanese would be killed badly.

Why Allies would have loss
The Allies lacked experience (besides russians) and technology (except atom bomb). But why did they beat the Experienced and Innovated Germany army? The Allies were losing the Germans in the beginning. And the Germans were doing really well. But Hitler did something terribly wrong, something that cost him the war, he had marching bands.

So Why did the Allies Win Then??
 Although lacking experience and technology, the Allies had a secret weapon, not the atomic bomb, but the Violin! They used the violin to win the war! While camping overnight, the U.S allied soldiers played the violin for entertainment. Because of this, the allies won the war.

The Atomic Bomb
 A band player reader who's reading this right now will think...what crazy idea will this crazy writer say now? is how could the Atomic Bomb be related to strings?. Simple, who found how to split an atom? Our dear jewish friend Albert Einstein , Mr. E=MC². Albert was a really good violin player. He was even friends with Suzuki! Because of the violin influence, Albert Einstein's IQ increased, giving him the knowledge to create the atomic bomb.

U.S School Related News
 

School Violence

Recently, there have been many reports of school violence, where underage students start a violent shooting spree with the guns they own. People have argued about the motive of this violence for a long time, but the answer were in the kids. The kid said "band made me do it"

Suicide in Oalaska, Washington

Although this isn't a case of a shooting spree, it demonstrates that band can cause the stress that would make someone commit a violent act. In this May 22, 1998 incident, a 15 year old boy kidnapped his girlfriend at gunpoint from a bus and took her to his home. When the girl's father tried to break down the door, the 15 year-old boy committed suicide with a shot point blank to his head. "It wasn't like she was dumping him" said a sheriff Brad Dorden, "I don't have a clue" We don't know why he went on the school bus" however the answer lies in one of the student's comment, "...he was in band" said freshmen Jessica Lane, 16.
 

Band Teacher
Early this year, a kid who was in band (shame on him) made a homepage that made fun of his Band Teacher. Why would some stupid do a page that is dissing/cursing his band teacher?  The school of this student found about this homepage and has punished the cool stringish kid. This small incident later evolved into a bigger incident. It was brought to court. And obviously, with the help of STRINGS, the kid one the trial, and was allowed to put up the page. Because the purpose of the internet is Freedom of Speech. So at the end, bandish school loss. And the Stringish United States Justice Department WOn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H AH AHA HA!
 

IQ and Strings

The highest math class in TAS Middle School:Geometry
It is quite obvious that smart people are all strings players. Take the TAS Class of  2002 Geometry math class for a example, they have eight people in the class,
Wendy Dara Dianna Daniel Daniel Thomas Alex and Jason.
notice that all of the members of the geometry class are STRINGS! except for Wendy Huang, what can we say about her? We can't criticize her, nor do we have intention of doing so. We conclude that Wendy is a rare person, although she is in band, she is in Geometry, one acceptable explanation for this is that she has past experience of string instruments.

Math Counts
Math Counts is a math club. Once a year there is a state test, and if your score is "good" you get to go to Washington D.C to compete with all the other math genius' in the world. It is very difficult to get to go Washington, few in TAS have went. From the new TAS building' history, four students have went to Washington. Last Last last year Stanley Song went to math counts. Why? Of course, he's in strings! Last last year was Chris Yen, <dont' know what instrument-recall as Choir> last year was 7th grade genius Daniel Chen who went. Why did he score high on the state test? Same reason, STRINGS! How about this year? Daniel Chen (again) and Thomas HO (cello player) ALL STRINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

English Words
NEW! Some words in the english language are a mixture of two words such as: smoke + fog =smog and guess + estimation = guestimation. It is the same as the two words bad and ban when they are added they equal the devil-incarnated word, band.

A bandit is a thief or robber. Why bandit. Why have a band in front of the word? Of course band is bad, therefore the word bandit was made from the word band.

You use a band aid when you get a Boo boo (bruise scratch etc.) Remember, when something bad happens it's called  band, so when you trip and get a scratch or when you crash into something, its called band! Example: Howard fell down... this is a example of band. So a bandaid came from the word band (bad luck, something bad etc.) and so you aid a band. Therefore it is called a bandaid.

The word contraband, which means "unlawful or prohibited trade," comes directly from the word band. Unlawful things tend to be bad and band is where all evil comes from.

Some people are bandy-legged. That means their legs are crooked. Since band is evil, of course they will use a word containing band to describe something messed up.
The word bandy is an adj. which means curving apart at the knees. It could also be used as a noun: bandiness. Try using the word bandiness in your daily speech to express stringness.
 

In the wild west when there used to be cowboys and stuff, there were bandits who wore bandannas to cover their mouth and noses (cover up their identity) Nowadays, men/women use bandannas to cover their baldness.  So bandannas are used to cover something up negative or evil.  (or bandish)

NEW! Bandicoot: a member of genus of  large rats that destroys grain and root crops. These devastating devils were named with the prefix band to describe them.

NEW! Bandog: a dog kept tied up as a watchdog or because it is ferocious. Band + Dog makes a bandog, a ferocious animal.

NEW! bandoleer:a broad belt worn over one shoulder and across the chest, with pockets for carrying ammunition. Obviously bandoleers are worn at war, and everyone knows that war is evil. So they use the prefix bandoleer to describe the badness of this object.

Not only words with prefix or suffix of band are bad, but words with a band instrument can also be negative. Such as:

Drum:
The word humdrum means boring or dull, monotonous. It is a negative word, expressing the boredness of a drum.

Bell:
The word belladonna means a deadly night-shade. Why would such as negative word have a band instrument (bell) as its prefix?

The word belladonna also means: dried parts of this , containing atropine and related alkaloids, used in medicine as a narcotic..... A NARCOTIC????????? Well, after reading all these negative words, we don't need explanation. Keyword: Narcotic

A bellyflop occurs when someone lands in the water with belly first. Leaving the diver in pain. Keyword:pain

The word bellicose is an adj. which means: eager to make war. keywords:Eager to make war.

The word bellyache: a pain in the abdomen or stomach. Keyword: pain... Caution: Do not be mistaken, the word bellyache is not associated in any way with the word belly.  The reason there are bellyaches is not because of problems with the belly but is caused by the word BELL.
 
Trumpet:
The trumpet, the most hated and despised instrument of the evil band, is hated for a reason.  The word Trumpery  precisely defines the characteristics of the trumpet.  The definition of trumpery is:
                        1. WORTHLESS finery
                        2. RUBBISH, nonsense
                        3. Showy  BUT worthless
This description of the trumpet in itself is self-explanatory and no extra clarification is necessary.

TUBA:
The Tuba, also part of the band family is also characterized as something BAD.
Q: How would you describe something that is similar to the Tuba?
A: It is Not Tuba-ish,   Not Tuba-like   Nor is it    Tuba-ness    but........Tubby.
Something related to a Tuba is described as Tubby! The definition of Tubby is SHORT and FAT.  And surely SHORT and FAT are no pleasant descriptions of anything....but are perfect for things related to BAND!

Brass:
The word brassy means bold and vulgar.  Brass instruments within the band are vulgar, they lack refinement, and good taste.

LINK:
 more "BANDISH" words to add to your vocabulary.......but not that quite appropriate (so we put them at the bottom of the page)
 
 
NEW! Deciphering this evil word
After rigorous studying, we have deciphered a hidden secret about the dumb band. With stringish intelligence we have proved that band is stupid.

Let's start, take the dreaded word band:

BAND

Uh! Yep that's the word band, since it is considered blasphemy to put the word band in caps on the same page as the super STRINGS, so we must reverse the word:

DNAB

The reverse of band is dnab, however, this is still disrespectful to the mighty STRINGS so we must expand this awful word.

De-en-ae-bee

Now the letters of the word "DNAB" have been expanded into a "word"
We then transfer the following code into numercal warez*. The outcome is this:

D3-3N-A3-833

The numbers are then deciphered into Roman numerals

DIII-IIIN-AIII-VIII-III-III

since there are lots of I's, we must simplify it so it looks like this:

D3I 3IN A3I V3I-3I-3I

Because the last section:V3I-3I-3I is not totally simplified we most simplify it.

D3I 3IN A3I V93I

We then translate the numbers back to the alphabet.

Dei Ein Aei VGEI

Read it now, It sounds like this:DNA VEGI
Band people have Vegetable DNA! Which makes them sedentary, passive, inanimate just like a person in a comma.

*Numercal Warez
regular=So Eagles don't bite
numeracal warez= 50 3A6L35 D0N'T 81T3
 
 

Future Jobs of Band

• Elevator Lady/Man: whole day press buttons
• A electrical power plant's employee: blows a windmill everyday so it[windmill] will turn and produce energy... hopefully.

Other Facts:
1. Choir is considered neutral.

2. Are you feeling bored? Lonely? pissed? worried? angry?....no fear....the solution to your dreary day is to cut rubberbands.  You can turn your day from a  Bandish day into a stringish day!!!!.....HOW you ASK?.....A rubberband includes the word band, so it very bandish, and so it is evil, and bad, and all that other bandish stuff... But there is a solution to this every threatening dilemma....TAKE a pair of scissors and CUT!...miracously the rubberband will transform into a STRING....You have then just witnessed another conversion from EVIL to GOOD!!!! band to STRINGS!

Please SIGN/VIEW our Guestbook. UnBandish (Stringish) Comments are appreciated... Believe it or not......band players are also welcome.
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band players have been converted to strings players.

NEW! HORN:
The Horn, which describes many of the brass instruments within the band (ex. French Horn, Trumpets etc) also has it's negative origins.  The word HORNY exactly and efficiently describes horn players.  They are a race of perverted and easily stimulated sex maniacs.  This is not some random and fallacious accusation but is supported with cold, hard facts.  It has come to our attention that horn players commonly hide x-rated and illegitimate magazines beneath their music folders, exposing their horny nature whenever they have the chance.